The invisible gorilla experiment is one of the most popular psychological studies even among people not in the field. It highlights how selective our attention is while we focus on a passing ball and completely miss the fact there is a gorilla that enters the scene. Once we know it is there, then we can easily spot it as it walks past the players. That’s how a lot of things in life work. We only notice certain issues once we somehow start to pay attention. Some we wish we had never come to hear about, while some others we wish we had known sooner. Sometimes we are entirely happy with an experience until we hear about better ones. This can spoil present moments and we are likely better off avoiding obsessing over it. Other times we realize how we have been getting things wrong all along and wish we had changed course earlier. A habit, a relationship, a career. (Of course we can always console ourselves with a comforting “everything happens at the right time”.)
In general, the more uncomfortable certain facts make us, the more likely we are not to devote too much time to them. We can all agree spending all of our limited time on earth focusing on the uncomfortable is no good, but it is a fact that some of us have an inclination to seek more truth in life than others. Similarly, while some find the meaning of life in making the world a better place, some truly believe that life is about the enjoyment of self. In this later way, denying everything that does not fit the narrative of benevolent humans and a fair universe becomes easier. In the day to day life, most of us find ourselves in between these two diverging perspectives though. We find meaning in giving, but we also believe there is much to be enjoyed in life.
Like the gorilla experiment shows, it is a fact that we cannot absorb everything that happens around the world. In my view, the biggest problem is that we deliberately chose to ignore what is right in front of our faces or play our own mind to believe that it has nothing to do with ourselves or there is anything that we can do. “This is normal”, “this is the only way”, “people have always done things this way”, “everyone else is doing it”, “I cannot change it”, “this one study says otherwise” are too commonly used excuses.
Of course we all fall victim of this type of thinking. We are prone to it, but we can fight the tendency. Once we see the gorilla though, and it may take a few tries to *actually* see it, it is hard to un-see it. Things just click and it is funny how this can literally happen suddenly and for no apparent reason other than a gradual process that finally reaches a turning point. If this “gorilla” is or affects something that we feel strongly about, it becomes close to impossible to ignore it for long.
I have seen quite a few “gorillas” by now, ranging from aspects of my day-to-day life to relationships with others and with myself. The one that has affected me more persistently relates to animal rights. Since an early age, I knew I had an inclination for it. One my first memories in life is actually the sound of a pig getting slaughtered in the distance during a Sunday barbecue in a park neighboring a farm. It is a horrible memory, I know. As most kids, I was comforted by my family’s explanations of the “circle of life”. It is what is. Over 15 years later, the moment I really saw the “gorilla” was during an ethics class in university. This course is one of my all-time favorites and made a lasting impact in my life. The professor showed the documentary “Earthlings” in class and we discussed animal rights, sentiency and morality. That’s when I realized that my instinct as a kid may have actually been more rational, albeit raw, than anything else that was explained to me by adults.
I then gradually started being more open to changes. First, starting to follow animal rights and vegan activists. Starting to eat more greens and vegetarian dishes. Then cutting red meat. Then all meats, and finally all animal products. It was not always a linear process in terms of action, but my beliefs have only grown within me. It is partly because of the intensity of such beliefs that my actions have not progressed as linearly as I had expected.
A few months after I had completely made the eating habit changes I wanted in my life and moved to a different city, I realized that I was having a rather negative view of the world around me. How could others really not see the “gorilla” by now? How could they still contribute to all the suffering in the world if they did? How come it was so hard for some people or restaurants to make delicious dishes out of vegetables? Is everyone really that indifferent? It went on and on. I felt very angry at the world, which I believe contributed to some health issues that followed and which eventually led me to being more permissive with my diet (as most veggies started to really disagree with my stomach for a while), allowing the occasional seafood. This was step back but, like some say, sometimes one must take a step back to then take two forward.
Having myself go back to being an animal eater humbled me and made me feel less judgmental towards others. It also made me realize that I should not be so hard on myself. When I catch myself brewing judgment these days, towards myself or others, I try to go back to my own non-linear trajectory and the fact that this “gorilla” remained hidden in my life for quite some time. I have since gradually returned to eating habits that are more aligned to what I believe in, but I do constantly check on my feelings to not let the negativity control me. Sometimes it is hard. Seeing people I love and respect not seeing what I see does hurt me personally, specially as I am quite active in trying to make others see the “gorilla”. The fact that most people are so far from seeing it does make me feel quite negative about humanity. At least the feeling does not get to me as much as it used to be before, or rather it hits in a different, more controlled way. There is certainly evil in the world, but I have also seen a lot of good.
Knowing this “gorilla” clearly has at times caused me a lot of mental distress, but I always remind myself it is also nothing close to the misery most animals are inflicted by us during their lifetimes. I would rather be aware of that, change my habits as much as I can accordingly, and even question humanity, than simply deny the problem and do nothing. I could not live with myself. Now that I saw it, I question why it is that it took me so long. Most importantly, how we can make the “gorilla” noticeable to others? I do think I have influenced others around me to be more open to the idea by example and the information I often share, and that makes me hopeful (and I am sure annoying to a lot of people too). It is a slow process and it can be frustrating, but I cannot just ignore what I saw. I would rather be part of the solution than live in denial. Same goes for most of the other “gorillas” in my life. Sure some of the “small gorillas” perhaps could have been missed, but the big ones have shaped my life (and its impact on others) to something better. The realization a relationship is not working or that we are acting in destructive ways. We do not always like what we see, but it is a blessing to be able to and to aim higher.
